A Parent's Guide to Childrens' Problems
Puberty Common Signs
The physical changes that come with adolescence concern teenagers who wonder if their development is "normal." They may be excessively modest, reluctant to dress in group locker rooms and may even ask to be excused from PE class. They may also avoid normal social activities.
How To Avoid Problems
Educate your child about the physical changes that occur during adolescence. Emphasize that there is no set "timetable" for puberty. Help him or her understand that "normal" development differs from one person to the next, just like height, weight, body type, and hair color.
What To Do If You Have Problems
Assure your child that all teenagers have concerns about their changing bodies. Let him or her know that these feelings are perfectly normal. If your child has difficulty talking with you, a Family counselor can help.
Read more about Puberty on this site.
Sexual Activity Common Signs
All teenagers face serious decisions regarding sexual choices. Unusual anxiety before or after a date, "sneaking out" to meet friends of the opposite sex, or even fear of dating itself, can all indicate concerns or pressure about sexual activity.
How To Avoid Problems
Help your teenager make smart choices. Educate your teenager about pregnancy and about sexually transmitted diseases including AIDS. Help him or her understand that sex is not the same thing as affection or love; that sex is a serious decision that carries serious responsibility.
What To Do If You Have Problems
Be certain that your child is informed about birth control, emotional responsibility, and sexually transmitted diseases. If your child has an adult friend whom he admires (a coach, teacher, etc.), you may wish to enlist that person's help since some may be reluctant to discuss sexual activity with their parents.
Read more about Sexually Transmitted Disease on this site.
Smoking Common Signs
Teenagers who smoke often "hang out" with other kids who smoke. They may hide matches, lighters, or ashtrays with their personal belongings; use breath mints, room deodorizers; and leave windows open even in inclement weather to air out their rooms. Their breath and clothes may be stale-smelling.
How To Avoid Problems
Educate your child about the health, economic, and social risks of smoking. Set a good example: If you or your spouse smoke, stop. Children learn by example, and today's teenagers won't buy the "Do as I say, not as I do" approach.
What To Do If You Have Problems
Forbidding your child to smoke rarely works. Instead, let your child know that you are concerned about his health and well-being, and that you will do anything possible to help him stop.
Read more about Children and Smoking on this site.
Read more about Quitting Smoking on this site.
Stress Common Signs
Adolescence is a stressful period for everyone, but if you notice changes in your child's sleep and/or eating patterns, nervousness, irritability, over-sensitivity to criticism, fatigue, increased illnesses, absenteeism, depression, or social withdrawal, your child may be suffering from a stress disorder.
How To Avoid Problems
Be sure that your adolescent is eating well-balanced meals and is getting adequate rest. Monitor his or her schedule. Is he taking on more than he can handle in school or with extracurricular activities? Help your child develop "coping skills" - how to recognize and resolve conflicts.
What To Do If You Have Problems
Be alert to your child's behavior - if his or her stress is related to a specific problem, talking it over may help. (Never turn down your child's request to talk to you, no matter how busy you are.) If your teen is unduly troubled by the pressures of adolescence in general, seek professional counseling.
Read more about Stress and Stress Management on this site.
Suicide Common Signs
Suicidal teenagers often withdraw from friends and Family, losing interest in their surroundings, personal appearance, and social activities. They may show increased moodiness, depression, or sadness that lasts for several days and they may give away prized possessions. They may make statements like "You'd be better off without me".
How To Avoid Problems
Help your child develop a sense of self-worth: praise and encourage your child and her accomplishments. Listen to your child's problems and be available to talk when she needs you. Take your child's problems seriously no matter how insignificant they may seem to you.
What To Do If You Have Problems
If your child appears suicidal, get professional help. Call your local mental health association for a referral. Many communities also have suicide "hotlines". Assure your child that as desperate as he or she feels at the moment, help is available and he or she will get better.
Read more about School Violence, Suicide and the Army's Suicide Prevention Program on this site.
Alcohol Common Signs
If your child is using alcohol, you may notice an increase in accidents (both personal and in vehicles), lateness and/or absenteeism from school, a drop in grades, withdrawal from Family, loss of interest in activities and personal appearance, increased use of mouthwash and/or breath mints, odor of alcohol in room or on clothing.
How To Avoid Problems
Educate your child about alcohol use and remember that your good example is the best tool to help your child develop a responsible attitude toward alcohol. Work within your community to develop "dry" weekend activities for youths (such as sock-hops, bowling nights, etc.).
What To Do If You Have Problems
Discuss the problem when your child is sober. Establish ground rules about alcohol use; penalties for disobeying the rules. Example: "We don't approve of your drinking. If you drink, you will not be allowed to (use the car, go out on weekends, etc.)" for a specified period of time. If your child cannot or will not stop drinking, he or she needs professional help.
Read more in A Parent's Guide to Drugs and Alcohol on this site.
Discipline Common Signs
Discipline problems often show up as a lack of responsibility (ignoring curfews, chores, etc.); frequent arguments with Family members, teachers, school authorities, or police; failure to complete homework/assignments, and, in some cases, shoplifting or petty thefts.
How To Avoid Problems
Be aware that your child is changing and that some rules (such as curfews) may also need to change. Establish Family rules, and discuss them with your teens in a flexible manner. Agree on what the penalty will be for breaking a given rule. Then, be consistent: stick to the rules and the consequences.
What To Do If You Have Problems
If your child continues to defy house and/or school rules, his discipline problems may be a symptom of a more serious concern. In this situation, a trained Family counselor can help you work to resolve the problem.
Drugs Common Signs
Drug users frequently use eyedrops or wear dark glasses; hide drug "paraphernalia" (vials, rolling papers, roach clips); show radical mood swings, poor judgment, "spaciness," a drop in grades, and isolation from the Family. They may make frequent trips to the bathroom and use incense to mask odors.
How To Avoid Problems
Educate your child about drug use. Remember, your good example is the best way to give your child a healthy attitude toward drugs. Know who your child's friends are, where he will be, what he will be doing, and when he will return. Invite your children's friends to your home to provide a "safe" place to hang out.
What To Do If You Have Problems
When your child is "straight," state your position about drug use, your Family rules, and the consequences of breaking those rules. (e.g., "We do not approve of drug use. If you use drugs, you will lose your weekend privileges," etc.). If your child still uses drugs, get professional help for him or her.
Read about how to help your child Say "No" to Drugs and Alcohol on this site.
Eating Disorders Common Signs
If your child has an eating disorder, she may lose up to 25% of her weight, or believe that she is fat even if underweight. Obsession with exercise to burn calories is common. She may eat large quantities of food in isolation, then induce vomiting; or her face may seem puffy or swollen in spite of weight loss.
How To Avoid Problems
Eating disorders are often a sign of low self-esteem, and may be associated with fears about growing up. Bolster your child with encouragement and praise. Let her know no one is perfect, including yourself. Educate her about the physical and emotional changes of adolescence and good nutrition and health.
What To Do If You Have Problems
If your child suffers from an eating disorder, professional guidance is needed, since these disorders usually indicate more serious underlying problems. Seek the help of a trained Family counselor.
Read more about Eating Disorders on this site.
Peer Pressure Common Signs
All teenagers rebel to some degree, but some become obsessed with "fitting in" with their friends (thinking, dressing, behaving as they do) in spite of the consequences. These children may also exhibit a disrespect for authority; rebel against Family/moral codes and values, and/or withdraw from the Family unit.
How To Avoid Problems
Assure your teenager of your unconditional love. Do not try to force your personal opinions and philosophies; listen to his or her opinions without passing judgment. Give your child room to make his/her own mistakes, but be ready to support your child when needed.
What To Do If You Have Problems
If peer pressure leads to serious behavioral problems, your child may be turning to his peers for emotional support (acceptance, affection) that he is not receiving at home. Professional counseling can help you and your child.
Read more about Peer Pressure and School Violence on this site.
